Posts Tagged With: choices

My Life As It Is

Sorry it has been so long, ladies and gentlemen. But my health takes first priority to everything else. Self-care has not been my forte, but I’m working hard to make it so.

It’s not the obvious rapists or misogynists that scare me. Why? Because I know how to fight that kind of obvious violence and hatred.

It’s the charmers, the manipulators — the true women-haters who turn a woman’s strength against herself. And this kind of person isn’t just some men. It’s often exactly how society has programmed both men and women. Yes, women can be this kind of perpetrator, and men can be victims too.

Many of us — myself included — give pieces of ourselves away because that’s what someone who is in love does. In the beginning, it’s only little pieces. It’s not that someone else is violently ripping apart our souls, it’s that we offer them up to be devoured.

Continue reading

Categories: Mental Retraining | Tags: , | Leave a comment

Defining Your Terms

While I’m not quite as bad as my Grammar-Nazi sister, there are some frustrations that pop up once in a while.  Plus, I seem to be getting reminders in the last few months that using the correct terms — especially with your mental and physical health care personnel — is extremely important.

My frustrations with other people’s misuse of idioms include the following cringe-worthy items:

  • “For intensive purposes” — No, that would be “for all INTENTS AND purposes”
  • “Extract revenge” — “EXACT revenge”
  • “Part and partial” — “part and PARCEL
  • “By in large” — “by AND large”
  • “Case and point” — “case IN point”
  • “Orientate” — “ORIENT” (the noun form — orientation — does NOT get translated into orientate! The correct verb form is ORIENT). The same issue seems to happen with the noun form of conversation — No, the verb form is NOT conversating. It is CONVERSING

But, that’s a bunny trail. The real issue is that too often we seem to be forgetting that just because a descriptive word or phrase makes sense to us, it rarely means the exact thing to someone else.  Remember my discussion on connotation versus denotation? (links to definitions, if you didn’t read the previous post)

I had a recent interaction with someone where I was repeatedly required to ask how they were defining their terms.  Sadly, their idea of “defining their terms” was to repeat the word or phrase with the inclusion of a generalized adjective (such as “very” or “extremely”). This is NOT defining your terms. In fact, it isn’t even communicating.

Continue reading

Categories: Mental Retraining | Tags: , , , , , | Leave a comment

Milo, Here’s Your Tin-Foil Hat


I thought long and hard about whether or not to link to the article I’m focusing on in this post.  I’m not interested in adding to the popularity of his posts, so I won’t be directly linking to it.  On the other hand, if you really want to read the article, search for washing machine, the Pill and Breitbart, and you will find it.

This unashamedly gay Republican is part of what is considered the alt-right. These are the fringe of the conservative side of the spectrum.  They are kind of fringe for the Right as the radFems (this includes many feminists who consider ANY penis-in-vagina sex is ALWAYS rape, and essentially want to eliminate men as a whole. Sadly, many of them are anti-transgender as well) are as fringe for the Left.

I’ve looked at some of his articles, as well as what stands for.  When I first came across his article, I was absolutely convinced that it was a satire website such as the Onion or the Daily Currant. The article was just too far-fetched to be someone’s real opinion, I felt.

Sadly, no.

According to him, if we got rid of washing machines and the Pill, women in this country would go back to being happy.

His complaint about the washing machine was that it “effectively freed up half the human species to enter the workforce. His issue with the Pill is that it is “used to lower a woman’s estrogen levels and reduce the likelihood of her becoming pregnant.”

Continue reading

Categories: Feminism, Gender Inequities | Tags: , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Unreasoned Hatred

I don’t understand unreasoned hatred.  I define this as a generalized emotion that is felt about a person, place or thing without any form of a logical cause.

It isn’t that I don’t understand the emotion of hatred. I do. It took me a long time to let go of my hatred of the man who killed my little brother.  But, as you can see……it certainly did have a logical cause.

I don’t even hate my ex-husband.  I choose not to waste any emotional energy about him.

But a hatred of a certain type of person? It doesn’t matter if the type is based on sexual orientation, chosen gender, religious affiliation or color of skin.  It is tarring an entire group for the choices of a small percentage.

Continue reading

Categories: Mental Retraining, Political Opinion | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

An Open Letter to Amanda Chatel @ The Bolde

via 13 Fucks You Stop Giving When You’re A Grown Woman

Ms. Chatel, you may be a grown woman but there are things you truly need to learn. Yes, I understand you are sex-positive, so am I. You are a feminist, so am I. You may even be a self-styled bitch, and trust me I am one. I have no idea why you chose to divorce your husband (which based on some of your articles at the Bolde, I have to assume you did), but I don’t see that you necessarily did so for anything other than “unreconcilable differences.” I too am a divorcee, but due to far different circumstances than your own.

While I agree with some of your listing of assorted “fucks,” there are some with which I sincerely disagree. If you are one of those people who lives by the concept of TL:DR (note, I prefer definition #4), I will warn you that this is a very LONG post.

Continue reading

Categories: Body Positivity, ethics, Feminism | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Special Diets


via Family: Mom Had Extreme Views On Nutrition, Only Fed Malnourished Boy Fruit & Nuts

I don’t give a flying fuck what kind of diet you choose for yourself, whether it be vegan or like Gandhi (a fruitarian – similar to the diet this woman gave her child) or any other special diet.  In fact, in cases of allergy, I do support you choosing for yourself the healthiest diet that you can.

HOWEVER if you plan to feed your child(ren) the same diet, you had damned well better learn how to read a lab report, and get used to discussing the lab results with your pediatrician.  (the link goes to a website that explains what the results of assorted lab tests mean)

I know many people in my life who have to eat special diets.  I know people with celiac disease, serious cases of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), allergies to common foods or herbs (garlic and onion are both foods and herbs – and yes, I know someone deathly allergic to both), serious insulin resistance, and other diseases/allergies/mutations that require a change in diet.

But, even the parents with these diseases/allergies/mutations keep an extremely close eye on their child’s/children’s health. They are actively working as a partner to the pediatrician, and any symptoms of malabsorption or malnutrition are dealt with IMMEDIATELY.

Continue reading

Categories: Body Health | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Religious Contemplation

Like I said back in November last year, I’ve not really been very active with my religion other than in basic prayer and meditation.

And, as I have recently posted, until recently I haven’t allowed myself to honestly consider something that currently is unlikely still as a possibility.

All of my “what if….” type of dreaming was completely pragmatic.  It was desperate hoping to win the lottery to get us out of the mountains of debt we constantly lived under.  Of course, there was a matching and negative “what if….” type of thinking — “how can I possibly make it so that ….. and …… don’t completely and unrealistically spend the entire winnings?”

So, where does this intersect with my religion of Wicca?

As a religion, Wicca is relatively new.  I know a lot of people are going to be angry that I am saying that, because they’ve always been taught that Wicca has been “handed down through the generations from since the [so-called] Burning Times began.” Sorry, people, even if some families may have maintained some traditions since before the Dark Ages, they would NOT have been any kind of coherent system.

Continue reading

Categories: Wicca | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Getting Tripped Up

When you have Google basic command prompt commands perhaps it is time to admit that your memory issue goes back further than just the last 2 years.

I learned back when it was MS-DOS, and tended to use that instead of Windows 3.1. Then transferred knowledge over to UNIX/LINUX commands. Windows, no matter how much else has changed, still uses a lot of the old MS-DOS commands.

I was good enough with the assorted different DOS types, and the commands, to get a 2-week gig with a major bank conglomerate, working on their DOS batch files that updated the changes in currency fluctuation. And completed the project in record time.

I’ve still used those commands off and on through the years. Often enough that the basic commands like renaming a file, listing a directory, deleting files, etc were always right there for me to use.

I remembered how to change a directory, but I had to actually look up how to list one or rename a file or some of the other basic commands.

Continue reading

Categories: mental health | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Justice and the American People

First off, let me say that even as a blogging platform, there is no way any one person — no matter how profuse they write (or however  long of a post they write) — can exhaustively cover all of the issues of justice in our country.  So, yes, there will be issues not covered, but they are not being ignored.

Our Founding Fathers, in attempting to frame the nation they were building, had justice as one of the main thrusts of their work.  In the era they lived in, many nations claimed “equitable justice for all,” but the actual reality in those countries ended up far more often having two different sets of law/precedent — one for the rich and one for everyone else.

They made every attempt to enshrine equitable justice as a reality in our government systems.  But, sadly, any human endeavor can be corrupted by humans.

Continue reading

Categories: Political Opinion | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sensitivity and Understanding

This is not some excuse for hypersensitivity simply because I have many of the symptoms of a highly sensitive person (also known as an HSP – read the difference between HSP and hypersensitivity over at Psychology Today).  I have known far too many people who hide behind being an HSP as if that means they can have a hissy fit any time someone disagrees with them, and excuse it with the claim to being an HSP.

I am sensitive to my environment.  I smell things often stronger than other people do, as well as experiencing “phantom smells.” I hear both above and below normal human hearing range, but get confused an agitated if there is too much auditory stimuli.  I also experience what can be called word deafness intermittently which becomes worse if there is far too much auditory stimuli.  I hear the words someone is speaking, but my brain translates the actual words they are saying into entirely different words.  I often either have to verify what has been said or read someone’s lips if the communication is important.  I am also what is called a super-taster,” which often means I need to eat blander foods than those around me because I am sensitive to anything hotter than paprika on the Scoville Scale.

Continue reading

Categories: Mental Retraining | Tags: , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at