And You Wonder Why We Live In Fear


There is sadly a truism about dating in this over-connected world.  There is always a seeming level of disconnect between the types of communication that are available to us. Someone you might enjoy the company of in person can become someone entirely different when texting or emailing.

Plus, we women have to make a risk assessment any time we physically meet someone we’ve only just met on the Internet. It’s actually something we have to do any time we’re out with someone – even someone we may have known for a while.

Men complain that we don’t trust them. That we assume the worst of them before they’ve even gotten a chance.

As girls, we’re taught that men and boys only want one thing — to have sex with us. So before we’ve even started dating, we’re already set up to be afraid — whether it is on a conscious level or not. Then, we’re taught to dress in a certain way, act in a certain way or any of hundreds of other little criticisms about our behavior that eventually mean that if a man or boy actually attacks us sexuality, we are already set up to believe that the problem is with us, that we somehow provoked the attack by how we dressed or how we acted.  Rarely, until more recently, was it ever stated clearly in many public discussions that perhaps the rapist is the problem, not us.

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Categories: body autonomy, Feminism, inequity | Tags: , , , , | 2 Comments

Open Your Eyes … Safety Pin Edition

I’ve been struggling since Election Tuesday to find ways to explain why there is a greater fear running through the “white, liberal, hetero, cis” community, let alone why many women within that listing are scared even more.

Additionally, trying to explain why the idea of the “safety pin” is actually quite bullshit.

I am forced to see both sides of the situation because I am a white, heterosexual, cis woman. But, for me, I stand firmly on the side of those who have been marginalized for decades (well, centuries, actually).  Why? Because I am a woman.

We — defined as white America — have gotten used to being able to supposedly “support” different causes by putting a ribbon on it.  But what in the hell does that actually DO for the cause?

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Categories: inequity | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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