“Locker-Room Talk”

via This Is Not A Think Piece About Trump’s Sexual Assault Comments

As stated by the writer of the article linked above, this is not about Trump or his supposed “locker room talk.”

For me, this is about what we are teaching our children.  I have given up hope that we can teach a certain percentage of the adult male population that “rape cultureis a real, provable thing.

We teach our children that males can get away with behavior that females are not permitted.  That even though certain behaviors are clearly negative and thereby considered “wrong” in our society, males will be excused for that “wrong” behavior.

I do understand the reasoning the authority figures give for excusing such behaviors.  They don’t want to “destroy a young man’s life” for a “simple mistake.”  They want to give him a “chance” because it was “just bad decision-making.”

The problem with that is that we are ignoring the victim of this young man’s behaviors.  We are telling the victim(s) that they are not excused for their “simple mistake” of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.  We vilify them for their own “bad decision-making.” And it doesn’t matter if that victim is male or female.

We teach our children many of the following:

  1. 1

    “Boys will be boys!”

  2. 2

    “If he’s picking on you, he must like you.”

  3. 3

    It’s OK to force affection on someone who doesn’t want it. (Because even boys are required to hug/kiss/show physical affection to an adult even if they don’t want to)

  4. 4

    If they’re bullied, we still ask “What did you do to make him pick on you?”

  5. 5

    It’s appropriate to make judgements about someone who is “different” because “we” are somehow better than they are.

  6. 6

    The reward for a job well done does NOT include a relationship with the person of your choice.

  7. 7

    If another male makes a decision that is different from your own, that does NOT make them in ANY way feminized. (Examples include: calling them a “pussy”; they are doing anything “…like a girl”) Nor does being a man require anyone to be aggressive or dominating.

  8. 8

    If someone is being bullied, it is OUR responsibility to step in and protect the victim. This DOES NOT MEAN beating the shit out of the bully, unless the victim and their protector are in immediate danger of death.

  9. 9

    Being in a relationship DOES NOT give anyone permission to emotionally manipulate the other person. (Examples include: “If you loved me, you would ……,” or “I did …xxxxx… for you. That means you have to do …yyyyy… for me” or “If you leave me, I will……”)

  10. 10

    Defining a girl’s “worth” soley on her “attractiveness” or the relative purity of her behavior.

Such information teaches our children (girls as well as boys) that these behaviors are acceptable for boys.

The problem is that our schools are frankly ignoring a law that has been in force since 1972. Title IX Of The Education Amendments Of 1972 requires ANY school that receives federal funding (which includes some private, religious schools as well as public schools).

In brief, Title IX requires schools to act to prevent violence before it occurs (through, for instance, training and educational programming) and to respond to it after the fact, to remedy its impact (through, for instance, free counseling, academic accommodations, and other support services).

Title IX for High School Students

Know Your IX


The reality is that 44% of all sexual assaults happen to someone who is under the age of 18. How many of the girls in YOUR high school are victims?  Can you say exactly the same as the writer of the above article?  Let me remind you of what she says:

By my senior year of high school, over half of the girls I knew had been sexually assaulted. I am one of them.

This Is Not A Think Piece About Trump’s Sexual Assault Comments

Maggie Ethridge

Originally posted to http://www.theestablishment.co/2016/10/11/this-is-not-a-think-piece-about-trumps-sexual-assault-comments/

Now, I will admit, I went to a private high school.  There were a total of 56 people in my graduating class.  If you assume that half of those were girls, that would still mean that in my graduating class there would have been 14 girls who had been sexually assaulted (including myself, because my first sexual assault happened when I was 13).  In a public high school with a graduating class of 1,000 kids (the national average), that would mean if roughly half of the class is female, there would STILL be 250 girls who had been sexually assaulted.

Those statistics are pretty damned scary.  Think about it.  Most sexual assaults go unreported.  If there is even a single reported sexual assault of that 250, the school should be working very hard to make sure it doesn’t happen to ANYONE.  But we still turn out graduating classes with victims of sexual assault.

We’re still sending boys to college thinking they can get away with anything.

And I’m damned sure that any authority figure who found out one of those boys were assaulting their fellow studients felt that they were simply dealing with an isolated incident in that boy’s life. That choosing to not enter the information that that boy had assaulted someone was helping a boy to learn their lesson without damaging “his future.”

This is, sadly, the same reason that many serial killers or serial rapists can get away with their activities for decades.You don’t like that comparison? You shouldn’t!  But that doesn’t make it less true.


Categories: Feminism, Gender Inequities | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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