Why We Stay Silent……


via Moms And Dads: What Your Daughter Hasn’t Told You About Sexual Assault

Read this. Please.

This isn’t about politics. It isn’t about who is better or worse. It isn’t even about ideologies.

It’s about us……and what kind of a world we want the next generations to live in.

The woman who wrote this is 27 years old. She IS the next generation to someone like me. If I had had a child at age 20, she would be this woman’s age right now.

She, like many of us, has experienced sexual harassment and sexual assault — but she, like me, has been one of the lucky ones. One of the ones who somehow lucked out that their responses got the men (oh, how I cringe to say that……because they aren’t men……they’re spoiled rotten assholes who have been told all of their lives that this kind of thing is OK to do to a female) to back off or protected themselves just enough to not get raped.

That doesn’t mean the fear leaves us. That doesn’t mean we don’t pray that the guy we flirted with and wants to go on a date with us, doesn’t end up being the octopus with a raging hard-on. That doesn’t mean we don’t constantly ask ourselves if we’re safe. It doesn’t mean we don’t look around ourselves for an escape “just in case.”

It doesn’t keep us from trying to keep our faces positive while being suspicious that the guy trying to charm us just wants “a piece of ass,” without any care about what we might want.

And sadly, too many of us keep our mouths shut. We keep silent not just because we fear that we will be blamed. We keep silent because we’ve been taught that WE are at fault if someone wants to assault us.

Even worse, if we aren’t a picture-perfect idealized body, we end up telling ourselves that we should feel LUCKY that someone “lowered his standards” in order to even possibly have sex with us. Or we accept being defined as low hanging fruit by someone who actually dates us.

We hear that we are exaggerating things because real men don’t do that.

Real Men are of a better class of man. We’ve somehow just chosen not to see them.  We’ve “lowered our standards” or have “ignored the nice guy.”

I have been assaulted MORE by the “nice guy” than I have by the “bad boy.”

At some point, the “nice guy” figures he’s being ignored or friend-zoned or whatever other excuse he wants to come up with and decides he’s “entitled” to have sex with any woman that turns him on.  He uses any means possible to do what those pick-up artists tell him to “close the deal” and get a woman into bed.  And far too often, that ends up ignoring every little bit of resistance that a woman gives him.  He’s been told that resistance is just part of the “chase.” That he, as the alpha hunter, simply needs to ignore that resistance.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again and again until we FINALLY learn the lesson.

The ONLY way for women not to feel fear any time they are with a man is if the MEN do something about it.  We have been trying for decades.  Hell, we have been trying for CENTURIES.  It has only been a recent experience for we women to even be able to make choices for ourselves.

Men like this will NEVER listen to the woman.  They will ONLY listen if other men give them consequences for this kind of behavior.


Categories: General Contemplation | Tags: , , , | Leave a comment

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