I recently met someone who is far worse off than myself. This isn’t one of those “Don’t think you have it bad! Other people have it worse!” kind of posts.
Quite the opposite. It’s a post about understanding.
Lady Gaga has a song called “Til It Happens To You” that speaks to this very strongly. When I allow myself to listen or watch it, it still makes me cry.
Abuse, just like rape, is something that people who have not experienced it can truly understand. I’m sorry, but that is the truth. It’s no different than the gendered differences (women cannot necessarily understand what it is like to be a man, nor a man understand what it is like to be a woman), ethnicity differences (both sides of the racial issues do not necessarily understand the other side’s life experience), or any of a million differences.
Being able to be there for someone ELSE who has been ’abused, actually helps me. It helps me because I don’t feel quite so isolated and alone. It helps because she can understand what I went through and I can understand what she went through.
It’s somewhat the same idea as support groups. I don’t really feel comfortable in support groups, or any 12-step group. Yes, I know the point is to be somewhat anonymous, and that it helps to have a group help you process the issues.
I’m not knocking support groups or 12-step groups. If they work for you, then Goddess bless your journey to recovery.
I’ve actually been finding that my art is being just as much therapy as my therapist is. It allows me to express my feelings in ways that talking or being around others who have similar experiences doesn’t really have for me. But, I do also need to know that I’m not alone. And I need to connect with others, because isolating is my preferred poison when I feel bad.
But I, and this person I met, both have a right to live safe and free. And if I can support her like others have been supporting me, it helps me along my journey as well.