Learning To Be OK With “NO”

I actually believe that this song is empowering not just for women, but for men as well.

Don’t crucify me just yet, guys…hear me out!

I know that some of you are thinking #notallmen(which, let’s face it, is a way to derail serious discussions on equality, not just discussions of sexism).

The simple reason I believe this can be just as empowering for men is because there ARE women out there (a small percentage, to be sure, but still there) who like to play the “coy” game.

If you take ALL responses of “NO” seriously, and realize that the rejection is about the other person, then suddenly you are teaching those “coy” women that you are NOT going to play her little manipulation game.

But, we women truly need to learn to be able to honestly say “NO” in a serious and confident way.  We need to learn to NOT be afraid that some man is going to take our rejection as an attack on him.  We need to be able to feel that it is SAFE to say no.

Now, I have only rarely had that fear.  And usually only when I am alone, and the man in question is being overtly aggressive about his supposed “flirting.” And I don’t mean when I am alone in a crowd of people.  I know if I’m in a crowd and make a scene, he’s likely to back off and leave me alone.  But, if I’m walking on the street alone or anywhere else that there are very few people to no one around – then yes, I get a bit fearful.  It doesn’t stop me from saying no, but it DOES mean that I also prepare myself to be threatened and/or attacked.

There is absolutely NO reason in our modern world that half of the human race should be so afraid of the other half.  Our culture tells us that we MUST be afraid, because all men are somehow only “instinct-driven animals.”  I don’t understand why men accept that as a description or a lifestyle.

Most of the men I know are rational, polite and decent human beings.  I don’t waste my time with any other humans who aren’t like that (and that includes manipulative women who are instinctually manipulative.

Regardless of gender, we need to learn to treat each other as complete human beings.  It is that simple.

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Categories: Feminism, Gender Inequities | Tags: , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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