Among my friends, I’m known to be a bit of a hermit.  Or at least someone who isolates myself more often than not.

This is amusing to me, because in my blood family, I’m pretty much the social butterfly.

I used to consider myself an introvert, because most of my family were.  Sitting at home doing nothing more than reading, or occasionally watching a TV show that caught our attention, has pretty much been the height of a happy evening for much of my family.  Oh, they aren’t completely isolated.  Dad still is involved in the church, and occasionally takes over when a local pastor is ill or on vacation.  My sister, of course, attends as many of her sons’ games (football, hockey, baseball) or musical performances (nephew plays a sax, and the older one was a singer).  And now that my parents are living in congregate housing, they do interact with their neighbors.

But, I feel the need to be with other people a lot more often than they ever really have.  I am more of an “ambivert” than anything else.  Yes, I can easily get overwhelmed by groups of people, and still don’t do well in things like crowded bars, game stadiums or things like state fairs.

Particularly from spring to fall, I have strong urges to get out and be with people, and even have a certain amount of interest in meeting new people.

This isn’t about finding another lover, it’s about interacting with the rest of humanity, and maybe even meeting someone interesting (or a group of interesting people).  I am endlessly fascinated by watching (and being part of) many varied interpersonal relationships.

So, yes.  Now it is April, and I’m starting to feel lonely and stale.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the fact that I have hours available to lose myself in the creative process as an artist. But, some days I just can’t keep still.  And I don’t like the idea of just randomly wandering around just to meet people, because let’s face it most people are focused on what they need to do and rarely do more than a wave and a smile.

Categories: Mental Retraining | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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