This article still seems to look at romantic love as a transaction. And while, yes, it is written from a heterosexual viewpoint, there is a lot about love and romance that has to be more than just a binary or polar set of options with one person on one side and the other on the other end of the spectrum.
Long-term relationships require work on BOTH sides of the relationship. There should be no total passivity on either side, nor total dominance (outside of a clearly defined and contracted BDSM relationship). If one person in the relationship is being carried by the other 100% of the time, then frankly the one doing the carrying needs to leave or risk total emotional annihilation.
I’m so tired of the idea that females are by “Nature” passive in their gender role, and that men are by “Nature” always going to be the active one.
Not every man is naturally dominant, nor is any woman naturally submissive (hell, I’m an example of that last – independent and stubborn to the core). Do the gender roles of both men and women seem to force those roles? Yes, which is why feminists (of any gender) are fighting for a more equal world.
PEOPLE should not have to be forced to be or do anything that is contrary to who they really are.
I expect a man to be my partner, my equal. I expect that just like he’s there for me when I’m weak, that he will let me be there for him when he is. I acknowledge when he has more knowledge of something than I do, and I expect him to do the same.
Every human being has different strengths and weaknesses. Everyone has different talents. And it should be a no-brainer that in a relationship of equals, the person with the best talent for things would be the person to do them. If that talent is leadership, they should take point – regardless of some out-moded gender roles.