Rape, like murder, seems to be considered by the public to be a crime that can be excused if you come up with some damned excuse that explains it to some people.
All you need, it seems, is any excuse.
I’ve slept with a lot of men. And I’ve slept with clumsy men. And strangely enough, not a single damned one of them who have ever fallen on me have done so in a way that their penis just “happened” to enter my vagina.
But, these girls (yes, I do consider an 18 yr old and a 24 yr old to still be girls on some levels) chose to do some things that the mainstream public seems to consider worse crimes than rape:
- They went out drinking, in a bar.
- They sat at this millionaire’s special, expensive, private table.
- They took him up on his offer to “drive them home.”
- They chose to go back to his place to drink more.
- The elder of the two chose to have sex with the man, with the younger sleeping on a couch in the living room.
And, of course, the judge agreed to 20 minutes of “private testimony” in chambers.
Does anyone really think that he didn’t bribe the judge, or somehow intimidate the judge, or appeal to the judge’s own biases while sequestered in the judge’s chambers?
Not a SINGLE one of the girls’ choices is a crime. Was it stupid? Perhaps, but stupid isn’t a crime.
I’ve had a man claim that –I– was the one who initiated sex, when we were both sleeping in my tent (because it was a cold night, and I’m nice – and we and a bunch of friends had been drinking before we went to bed, at a Renaissance fair we were all working at). I woke up to find his penis already inside me, with NO condom. I was somewhere between 21 and 23.
Obviously, he finished before I had even gotten my brain past “hey, someone has their penis inside me!” Whiskey dick sometimes has a positive effect – like premature ejaculation!
When I got angry with him, and accused him of non-consensual sex (because, I had already internally agreed that somehow it was my fault, because I let him sleep in the tent with me – so I didn’t say what it REALLY was….RAPE).
That’s when the excuse came out that I had somehow come on to him in my sleep. That I was fondling him and trying to “ride” him all while being completely asleep.
Now, I have been known to move quite a bit while sleeping, which can be proven by how many times I have woken up wrapped up in my own damned fitted sheet. But, I have never before, nor ever since, sexually assaulted anyone else in bed with me. I don’t have non-consensual sex, my partner must be in agreement with me for sex to happen.
And because I had already internalized our society’s ideas that stupid choices means it’s excusable if someone rapes you, I let it be. I just never let him sleep in my tent after that, nor let him be alone with me. And I only told one person, and she agreed that it was my own fault.
If someone’s unconscious, there is NEVER any reason that is “good enough” to choose to have sex with that person. The inability to consent automatically means it is rape.
No, being drunk is not an excuse. No, taking drugs is not an excuse. No, being stupid, innocent or gullible is not an excuse. There is NO excuse for rape, ever!
But, rapists keep getting away with it – even the female rapists. Because somehow our society seems to think that the victim ALWAYS deserves it.