I know I’ve been keeping fairly quiet about my practice of Wicca. While I still do the simple day-to-day connecting with the Divine, and try to be as internally consistent as I can be about my ethics and morality, I’m not doing a lot of rituals, nor am I even really doing the simple spells beyond those meant to help me heal, and watch out for those I love. Mostly I do a lot of praying and communing with the Divine.
But, I’ve been thinking. Which, let’s face it, is no real surprise – because I do a lot of it.
I’m constantly revising my base 101 class information. It’s not that the content itself changes, just as I learn more about different people and how each one of them learns better, I do my best to ensure that any student I take on gets taught in the way that they learn the best.
Now, magickal ethics are usually the first thing that a lot of teachers go with, myself included. And I’m not interested in teaching students to blindly follow any particular viewpoint when it comes to those ethics, but I am interested in making sure that they never make an unethical choice out of just blind emotion.
And, one of the subjects that comes up often is the ethical use of what can be best termed as “love spells.” The two most discussed spell types I usually come across first are either love spells or money spells. Not too surprising given the emphasis our society seems to have on both of those subjects.
And there is usually an anecdote that comes along with any discussion of love spells and how to ethically complete them. It describes someone who did a love spell on a particular person, and got what they asked for. Problem was, it wasn’t exactly what they really wanted. What they got was obsession. This kind of thing is portrayed in a lot of TV shows about witches, and many movies as well (The Craft ring any bells for anyone? Heck, even Bewitched came up with a version). Anything that anyone does – whether by spellcraft or by prayer – that interferes with free will is an unethical act. But, Wicca doesn’t state you cannot do unethical acts – you can choose to do so. But, you will be choosing to do so with the certain knowledge you are doing it, and a willingness to reap the consequences of that act.
For example, many individuals feel strongly that they should cast spells of binding on rapists or thieves. And many witches do exactly that. BUT, they do so knowing they are likely going to be hit with the karmic 2×4 for that choice. And, even if you don’t actually do anything but ask the Lords of Karma to “review the person’s case file,” you had better be sure your slate’s clean, because They’re going to be checking you out too.
But the following description isn’t just something that maybe someone heard about or someone’s family member did, this is something I did……and the results I got.
I am willing to admit that when I was in my 20s, I was pretty damned stupid – like most of us. And, I was somewhat desperate for that “great, passionate love.” So, I started researching assorted different love spells. I figured I was staying on the ethical side of things since I wasn’t pointing the spell at someone in specific, just requesting someone with certain characteristics show up in my life, and want to marry me.
And no, I’m not going to tell you what spell I did. I will only tell you that the spell was described as one that would gather in a potential marriage partner.
I did the spell on Imbolc (Feb. 2), which is the first of the 3 fertility festivals of Wicca. The three fertility festivals are balanced on the other side by the 3 harvest festivals. And yes, I was engaged shortly after the first of the harvest festivals (the balance point on the other side, on August 2).
But, looking back on the marriage, and remembering the spell and what I put into it – it was a bad choice. As with ANY spell that you do, the practitioner must have a singular focus, and must be very clear of the exact outcome. I was focused, but I wasn’t clear – because it was desperation and loneliness that was driving that particular bus that day. And, I got exactly what I asked for.
It doesn’t matter if the spell (or prayer for that matter) is completely ethical if you cannot (or will not) make sure you define the parameters of the spell clearly. Because, yes, the Universe will grant you what you ask for – but, without that definition, it may not grant you what you need, nor what you really want. Sadly, the Universe sometimes has a twisted sense of humor.
I do want to get married again. But, this time around – I’m not desperate. I’m lonely, but I’m not going around begging men to love me. I am perfectly fine by myself, but I do find I miss having a husband. But getting married again will come when the time is right for it. But if I ever decide to do something like that again, you know damned well I’m going to nail down the clearest description of what I want and need that I possibly can.