Do people somehow really think that only “visually proportionate” people get to have sex? Seriously?
I am unashamedly sexual. I’ve slept with a particularly large number of men in my life. Medical science says that the average woman sleeps with approximately 8 men in her lifetime, while men sleep with on average about 12 women. Let’s just say that I’ve hit that number quite a few times over.
And NO, I do not have sex because I feel I have a low self-worth. In fact, the less self-worth I have, the less sexual I am – so at the low point of my marriage to my ex, I became damned near ASEXUAL. The reverse is also true, the more self-worth I have, the more likely I am to choose to have sex with someone I’m interested in.
And do you know what? In the multiples of men I’ve slept with, there is only ONE man who has ever said that sex with me was “like making love to a dead fish.” I don’t have to be the best lover someone has ever had, but I do like knowing that he’s enjoying himself as much as I am. And I have yet to hear any complaints from other lovers.
Why shouldn’t we see that every person of every size has sex when it comes to our “entertainment.” In Drop Dead Diva we know damned well that the heroine had sex with a number of different men, but they never showed it onscreen. In fact, in most movies and TV shows that have a larger lead character, we rarely actually see more of the relationship past a quick peck on the cheek. What, are we afraid that if larger people are allowed to be seen as sexual beings, that perhaps we might stop being quite so bullying about fat people?
The more that medical science studies the real reasons behind obesity, the more they find that a) it is rare that any human being loses even a large fraction of their body weight, and if they do they have a less than 10% chance of keeping it off; and b) every human being has differences in how their bodies work, and medical science is STILL finding out the differing reasons why someone may or may not be fat.
But that doesn’t match the popular opinion that fat people are stupid, lack any form of willpower or discipline, and must therefore have low self-worth, and little to no self-care.
That stereotype allows people to feel superior. It allows women to look at fellow women and say, “Yeah, that fat girl gets all the guys, but it’s only because she puts out!” It allows men to think they are God’s gift to fat chicks, even if they are skeevy and gross.
Sorry, people, I only sleep with men I choose – not any Tom, Dick or Harry with a pulse and a dick. I have, in fact, fairly high standards for the men I’m willing to sleep with. And most average men don’t actually fulfill those standards.