I have always been a sensualist. I haven’t always accepted it about myself, but I always have experienced my emotions and differences in my life in more than just a mental fashion. There’s a smell, a taste, a visual, a sound, a touch to many of my experiences.
And, I have noticed that body chemistry is a huge thing for me. If someone is “right” for me, even their smell can bring certain emotions to the surface. When I need comfort or calming, their smell soothes me. When I am excited or horny, the smell heightens that feeling. When I miss them, it’s the smell that is the first sign that I am with them again.
And no, I’m not talking about cologne, nor sweat. I’m talking about pheromones.
Yes, I’m well aware that most scientists believe that humans give off such a low level of pheromones that they believe it has absolutely no impact on human relationships. But, that – to me – is simply a matter of not having the right kind of tools to measure things.
The reality is, I’m one of those people who is considered a “super taster.” How does that interact with smell? Well, if you can’t smell, you can’t taste – in particular, when one’s sense of smell is gone, the sense of taste becomes dulled to the point of blandness.
It doesn’t matter if the person is immediately out of the shower, there is still a distinct smell to their skin (particularly around the spots of the human body where the skin is the thinnest) that interacts with my brain.
And, it can negatively impact me as well. There are people I have taken an immediate dislike to, but cannot actually point to a real, logical reason why I don’t like them. If I pay attention to my sense of smell when they are in the room, there is usually an undertone of rot or garbage – no matter how hygienic the person may be.
How can I be a sensualist if there has been times that I have not wanted to be touched? Well, think about it. If the choice of being touched or not touched has been ripped from you, and you are no longer in control of your own body – you too would develop a distaste for being touched unless it is in your control.
But, again, I’m done dulling my senses. It’s time to let myself open back up to those things that make my life more full.