The fact that we have a “norm” that means that 1/2 of the damned human race has to denigrate themselves in order to be accepted by society is just another damned symptom that we are living in an extremely sick culture. And the fact that the OTHER half of the human race has a similar issue (but that half is expected to be “body obsessed”) again is the same problem.It is not “vain” to love the body that the Divine gave you. What is “vain” is to act as if YOUR body is superior to other bodies.
It’s not “stuck up” to love the body you HAVE RIGHT NOW. What is “stuck up” is to act like the body you have RIGHT NOW is the ONLY kind of body that can be beautiful.
It’s not “lying to yourself” to love your body. Warts, flab, birthmarks, wrinkles, grey hair, or whatever real or imagined fault you have with your body is just fine. You want to lose weight? Go for it, but don’t do it because you think you are ugly RIGHT NOW. If you don’t learn to love your body as it is right at this moment, you will NEVER love your body, no matter how “toned” or “attractive” or whatever adjective you are searching for.
Loving yourself doesn’t mean you are necessarily content with your health. It doesn’t mean you don’t want to change your body. It simply means that you STOP comparing your body with every other body in the world. Do you know HOW much depression there is in the world simply from comparing yourself to other people?
I spent a good portion of my younger years comparing myself negatively to my sister. When we were younger, she had the more “conventionally attractive” body, while I grew up the fat kid. I actually felt a sense of satisfaction and gloating when, after her second pregnancy, her body started to reflect the same weight issues as my own. How sick is that?
Someone with a different body type is NOT superior to you, nor are they inferior to you. They are simply DIFFERENT. And the more you hate body types that are different than yours, the more jealousy you experience because someone’s body and life is different than yours, the more you will end up hating yourself.
You know, in my experience, an awful lot of people – of ALL sizes and shapes – hate themselves and their bodies. It, not the fact of obesity, is the REAL epidemic. Yes, our entire country could learn to eat in far more healthy ways, but it is the emotional bullshit that is REALLY to blame.
When every trope about breakups or emotional damage shows us reaching for the Haagen-Daz instead of being willing to look at the reasons WHY we feel bad, and learn to deal with them, it just continues the same abusive self-hate. When “comfort food” is such a real thing that NO ONE has to define it, it means we are just as abusive to ourselves as others are. When someone would rather blame a “lack of willpower or discipline” for the size of your body, than get a chance to know you and find out if something ELSE is going on, it simply encourages more hatred and pain.
I’m still not completely there. I still have days where I look at myself in the mirror and cringe. I still have days when I make the poor choice to starve myself, because I don’t like me. But, I’m working on it. And that is ALL anyone can ask.
And I ask YOU – no matter what size you are, what size clothing you wear, what flaws you may think you have – to TRY to love yourself right now. Right now the way you are at this very moment. Not who you were yesterday, not who you are going to be tomorrow, but RIGHT NOW.