You Are NOT Alone

via Low chance of obese people recovering normal body weight — ScienceDaily.

For anyone who grew up fat, the report I’m linking to is NOT a surprise.  No matter HOW hard we work, what we do, even if we do lose weight, often it rarely sticks around. And many of us get an additional lecture from our medical personnel on TOP of the normal obesity lecture that if we do not stop the “yoyo effect” with our weight, we’ll DIE from it.

The assumption by most doctors is that with that lecture we will somehow “finally” get it, and will lose the weight AND keep it off.

Nothing is further than the truth.And trust me, even though people who have bariatric surgery weren’t included in this study, there are SO many special issues relating to those surgeries, including an inconsistency in reporting results, that it’s an entirely different area.  Many of the issues relating to these surgeries include medical support for the rest of your life, major issues of malnutrition, and if the medical staff do NOT do their job and give you a psychiatric evaluation even before considering the surgery (eating disorders and body dysmorphia are only two of the psychiatric conditions that make bariatric surgery contraindicated).  Read a report on the US National Library of Medicine website to educate yourself on some of the pros and cons of bariatric surgery.

PREVENTION is the best chance for weight issues.  But it does not offer any help for those of us who were born with a predisposition to obesity, nor does it help those of us who have other issues with our biochemical balance.

I spent my teen years in a yoyo situation.  Losing weight, and gaining it back, usually with more weight on top of it.  I was NOT a sedentary teen.  I attended a boarding school during my teen years that was on 108-acre campus.  We walked EVERYWHERE.  My dorm (building in the farthest SE corner of the prison campus) was actually the farthest away from anything except the newer gym and swimming pool.  The place is now a medium security prison for Wisconsin, but you can still see much of the layout from the time I lived there.  The class building is the H shaped building on the west side of the campus, and the cafeteria is just north of it.  And because it was a religious school, we had numerous church services (not just on Sunday, but chapel services EVERY school day – the church is on the east side of the map, and is the only building with a brick-colored roof).

I defy you to tell me that all I did was sit around during my teen years.

Summers, after age 16 included a job.  The summer between my junior and senior year, I was hired as a lifeguard (although, because I was a “big” girl, I got relegated the shit jobs, like having to clean the locker rooms – which sadly sometimes included cleaning up shit off the floors and walls.

So, telling me I was a lazy child is NOT true. Nor is it true that I was a lazy adult.  After having my lower back injured at 13, I was given physical therapy exercises to manage back pain resulting from that injury.  I was pretty damned good at those exercises, because I didn’t want to have any mobility issues.

Between the age of 16 and 20,  I reached my top weight.  It was 370 lbs.

HOWEVER, between the ages of 20 and 43, I never gained or lost more than 5-10 pounds.  Not many people can actually say that they are the same weight in their 40s as they were in their 20s.

And I continued to study medical articles to find SOME reasons why I had so much trouble losing weight.  Since the understanding of estrogen dominance was only STARTING at this time in my life, there wasn’t a whole lot about it.  So, I turned to alternatives such as herbal supports, studies on the effectiveness of differing vitamins and minerals, and other options.  And, I did research into the KINDS of foods I was eating, to figure out what might be problematic. I made huge strides in working on being healthy, and not worrying about my weight – even though my ex-husband was constantly harping on the subject (even though he married me at my fattest).

It was only once I had my hysterectomy that I had any success at weight loss.  I lost 100 lbs.

Now, by the time I hit that milestone, my marriage was imploding.  So, stress and depression went through the roof.  The only GOOD thing about the situation is that 4 months after I left my ex, my doctor took me off my high blood pressure pills because I no longer needed them.

DO YOU HEAR THAT?? My doctor took me off my high blood pressure medication.  Why?  Because it wasn’t my weight that was causing it.  It was living with my ex that caused it – that caused anxiety and stress leading to the blood pressure.  The emotional and mental abuse was the reason for the high blood pressure.

But I have ONLY regained 30 lbs, and I am slowly recovering from the mental, emotional and physical effects of the last two years.

I’ve fallen down on being quite as strict about the kinds of foods I eat, because when one is stressed and depressed, one tends to fall back on “comfort foods.”  And comfort foods for me include a lot of pasta, and sadly a lot of processed foods.

But, I’m going back to those better choices.  I’m going back to being as active as possible given the limits of my arthritis.  And I’m going back to being ME, accepting ME as I am right now.  That doesn’t mean I don’t care about my health or my weight, I just refuse to sideline my life because some idiots out there don’t want to see a fat body.

If you struggle, PLEASE do not think you are alone.  There are so damned many of us out there.  Work on having a healthy lifestyle.  Be active – like so many of us are.  Eat healthy foods – not frozen, pre-made crap (and for Goddess’ sake, avoid canned vegetables! Frozen veggies are ok, but pre-made meals like Lean Cuisine and Healthy Choice” are not going to help).  If you don’t know how to cook, LEARN (there are many community classes available in urban areas that will teach you, and if you can’t find one, I am pretty damned sure you can find a friend who loves to cook to teach you).

I hate cooking.  But I do it so I know exactly what I am eating.

Choose to be YOU.  Choose to be HAPPY.  And don’t let ANYONE tell you that you’re too fat to be happy.

Categories: Body Positivity | Tags: , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “You Are NOT Alone

  1. Pingback: Destroyed By “Concern” | The Demonized Other

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