Sacred Does Not Mean Limited

I’m not running down sex; sex is swell, sex is wonderful. But if you put a holy aura around it—and that is what you are doing—sex stops being fun and starts being neurotic.

Lazarus Long;
Time Enough for Love
(Robert A. Heinlein)

This isn’t a post about different marriage styles. It’s not even about the morality of sex.

It’s about understanding what sex is, and treating it as the gift it is.

When people choose the intimacy of sex, even if it’s casual or any other kind, there is a bond created even if it is only temporary.  It’s one of the very few times the human soul can reach out and connect to another soul. 

That makes it sacred, but not necessarily holy. I see the difference between those term being that something sacred is about having a sense of something that brings you closer to the Divine, but is still within reach.  It’s more of a concrete experience or object that supports your connection to the Divine.  Holy, on the other hand, is more of an ideal – a perfection to be striven for.  It is not necessarily considered to be something that any human, by themselves, can achieve.

Sex, however you experience it, is a concrete experience.

For some people, that means that only sex within a specific context is sacred.  It doesn’t matter which of those contexts that it is, or which religion says what, the followers of a religion will keep within those limitations in order for sex – FOR THEM – to be sacred.  For others, like myself, sex – regardless of context, as long as it is consensual – is always sacred.  For me, even “casual” sex is a sacred act, because that’s how I see it, and how I feel about it.

I see it as a connection between the Divine in myself and the Divine in another person, whether that connection is temporary or not.

But I have no expectation that anyone else will see sex the same way that I do.  And, that truly makes no difference to me.  That is between them and the form of the Divine they worship (or their conscience, in the case of atheists).

I don’t randomly go around sleeping indiscriminately with just anyone that offers.  I listen to myself, to my intuition, my conscience,  and to my own connection with the Divine. For me to do that, would profane what sex is to me. If I have sex with a guy that my intuition is screaming to avoid, it’s going to lead to regret and shame for not listening to myself.  Sex should not ever cause those things, so I stay within the limits I have given myself.

I’m not judging someone else for indiscriminate sex, unless by doing so they intentionally damage others by sharing diseases.

What I am really saying here is two-fold:

  1. Treating sex as something “holy” means you are placing it outside of the ability of any human to actually reach perfection.  If you do that, you will NEVER be satisfied with it – even if it takes place inside the limitations of your religious belief.
  2. A person can ONLY choose for themselves what sex means to them.  But I do feel it requires some conscious thought to decide what it means to YOU.
Categories: Sexual Positivity | Tags: , , | Leave a comment

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