Body Positivity is NOT about YOU!

via 8 Things Body Positive People Are Sick Of Hearing Because It’s Not About “Forcing People To Be Attracted To You” | Bustle.

So much fucking THIS!

  1. I could give a shit whether or not you think me attractive. I may or may not find YOU attractive – even if you have a “socially accepted body type.”  All this complaint tells me is that you’re a narcissistic jerk.  And I don’t think narcissistic jerks are attractive.
  2. You CANNOT tell if someone is healthy or unhealthy just by looking at them.  My ex-husband has a “socially accepted body type” (in fact, for a man over 40, he’s got the body of a “socially accepted” 20 year old).  Yet, physically he’s unhealthy.  His teeth are rotting out of his head because of his Pepsi addiction.  His GI system requires anti-diarrhea medication to function correctly. His assorted muscles and bones are developing pains (even though he exercises religiously).  Hell, now that the high blood pressure HE caused has gone away, I’m more physically healthy than he is even though I way twice what he does.
  3. This one is just more slut-shaming.  Women wear what makes them feel confident and attractive.  Just because YOU find it “slutty” doesn’t mean a damned thing.  I’ve known people (both men and women) who would find a turtleneck sweater and a floor-length skirt to still be “slutty.”  Again, this is narcissistic – it’s all about what YOU think.
  4. ALL bodies need body positivity, because our society teaches us we are NOT enough, no matter how close to the “ideal” we are.  I have known people who are “size 0” who get shamed on a regular basis, and have serious body shame issues.  Just because YOU think someone is “perfect” doesn’t mean they are.  This is a narcissistic act by the person(s) who need body positivity themselves.
  5. “Throw your fat in my face.”  Really, you narcissistic asshole?  Again, I’m wearing my clothes and my makeup for ME, not for YOU.  You don’t want to see my fat ass??? Don’t fucking look!
  6. “You have to lose weight before you’re allowed to…….”  Fuck you.  I can wear whatever I want.  If that means I want to wear a mini-skirt and gogo boots, I’m damned well going to wear them.  I don’t need to “wait” to be happy.  I don’t need to “wait” to do what I want to do. And, oh yeah, yet again, narcissism.
  7. Shaming as a “motivator.”  Have you bothered to look at psychological studies recently?  Shame and guilt don’t help to get someone to change, they in fact make it HARDER for someone to change.  They become obstacles to change.  What people need is how to understand their bodies, not be shamed by them.  Some of us need to understand the relationship between intake and outgo (calorie intake and calorie burning), but it’s a MUCH smaller group than people want to believe.  Others of us need to understand OTHER reasons for our bodies to be a certain way – things like hormonal issues, vitamin deficiencies, and many many other issues.
  8. NO ONE loves themselves 100% of the time.  We’re all human.  We have bad days.  But we’ve CHOSEN to teach ourselves to be positive and love ourselves – right now, BEFORE we make changes.  Because unless we love ourselves RIGHT NOW we won’t get anywhere else.
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