Sex as a Woman

via My Vagina Runs My Life | Vanessa de Largie.

My vagina does NOT run my life.  Not any more than most men allow their penises (peni? I never took Latin, but I think peni works better! LOL) to do so.

The writer has a list of phrases that other people use to describe her and judge her as a woman with a high libido.  I’ve heard some of them myself, mostly from other women.

She must have sex with an array of men in search for love.

I feel sorry for her.

She must have bad parents.

She must have low self-esteem.

It’s sad that she has to act in such a cheap and degrading way.

Worse, I’ve repeatedly been told that I am non-monogamous because “it’s the only way you can keep a man, you fat cow.”

Really?  I don’t think so.

It’s not about being incapable of commitment (really? 20 years in a marriage, and I have “commitment issues?”  What are you smoking? And why aren’t you sharing?).  It’s not about “wanting attention” or being “desperate for love.”  It’s not about poor self-image or self-worth.

I make the conscious choice about whether I want to have sex with someone or not.  If I don’t want to be intimate with someone, there’s no one that’s going to make me do so.  Oh, I’m not saying that it’s impossible to rape me.  But rape isn’t about sex, it’s about control and power.

If fornication (defined as sex previous to marriage) is a sin for you, that’s absolutely fine.  I’m not forcing you to have sex.  But just because *I* personally enjoy sex, whether it’s fornication or not, does not mean you have the right to judge me.

And, I hate to say it, but 9 times out of 10, I’ve find that many women are judgmental about this because THEY have their own body issues, and can’t think that I might be different from them.

I do have body issues.  But they do NOT include being ashamed of my body, nor of my desire for sex.  Nor do I think I have to be ashamed.

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Categories: Non-Monogamy, Sexual Positivity | Tags: , , , , | Leave a comment

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